I have this fuzzy memory of a standoff with my mother when I would have been about five years old. I was playing by myself in the front yard and she called for me to come in. I mouthed off somehow about not being ready or interested in doing what she wanted at that moment.
She responded with a “what did you just say?” in a tone that did not bode well for my immediate future. I remember thinking to myself “what can I say this instant that will get me out of trouble?” A quick “I love you” was sufficient to defuse the situation. While I did indeed love my mother, what sticks with me to this day is the sense of quickly thinking about how to manipulate the conversation to my advantage.
Another early reinforcement for speed and quickness as a default response.
While I think I’m on to something important in focusing on rhythm and cadence in my writing, I also need to sort out this speed response. This is something other than being an adrenaline junkie. I’ve never been one to seek out thrills for the sake of thrills. But I do find that I get impatient when the world around me unfolds too slowly for my tastes. Took me a long time to break myself of the habit of finishing other people’s sentences, for example.
I feel as though most other people tune into the rhythm of situations more easily than I do. For me, it depends on whether the underlying rhythm aligns with my natural “clock speed”. I’m fine when everything is moving briskly. Makes me a good consultant and problem solver.
Most of the time.
When the circumstances say “slow down,” I have to be very deliberate and mindful to match my outside to the appropriate pace. Whether my insides slow down can be another story. A story that will likely take some time to unpack further.