The Onion Summarizes John Kerry's Platform

When the only tools you have are tools…

The Onion Summarizes John Kerry’s Platform.

This does seem to hit the nail on the head:

The Onion | Kerry Unveils One-Point Plan For Better America: Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry outlined his one-point plan for a better America: the removal of George W. Bush from the White House. “If I am elected in November, no inner-city child will have to live in an America where George Bush is president,” Kerry said, addressing a packed Maize High School auditorium. “No senior citizen will lie awake at night, worrying about whether George Bush is still the chief executive of this country. And no American regardless of gender, regardless of class, regardless of race will be represented by George Bush in the world community.”…

Kerry also spoke on the subject of national security. “This country has embraced a new and dangerously ineffective disregard for the world,” Kerry said. “In order to win the global war against terror, we must promote democracy, freedom, and opportunity around the world. My national-defense policy will be guided by one imperative: Don’t be George Bush. As will my plans to create a strong economy, protect civil rights, develop a better healthcare system, and improve homeland security.”

Joining Kerry at the podium, Edwards raised one issue not discussed by his running mate: the environment. “Let’s not forget one important point,” Edwards said. “We need to set a new standard of environmental excellence for America by renewing our nation’s promise of clean air, clean water, and a bountiful landscape for all. In the 21st century, we can have progress without pollution as long as we have a Dick Cheney-free White House.”

[Brad DeLong’s Semi-Daily Journal (2004)]