I had a friend in college who was an accomplished musician. His problem was that he kept comparing himself to Maurice Andre and concluding he was a failure. My friend got over using the wrong comparison to draw the wrong conclusion, but I’ve held onto the story as a reminder to myself to be careful about how to process the feedback you give yourself.
I’ve been fretting about what I’ve produced from my writing practice. Aware of the trap of misleading comparisons, I fall into them nonetheless. It’s easy to tell your friends to not be foolish. It’s so much harder to do so looking in the mirror. Especially when you’re doing the same stupid things they’ve been doing but just differently enough to pretend that you’re special.
While I think of myself as largely an instinctual writer, I’ve also delved deeply into the wisdom and advice about the nature of creative work. Two elements of advice that turn up pretty much everywhere is that your job is to show up and to finish what you start. The promise is that if you manage those two things, the Muses will worry about inspiration and quality (see, for example, Elizabeth Gilbert: Your elusive creative genius)
i’ve concluded that I’ve only been keeping half the bargain. I’ve been showing up. Finishing is where I’ve been falling short.
Wiser folks than I warn of resistance and perfectionism as the enemies of finishing.
And, I want to reject their counsel.
I’ve always been comfortable filling a blank page or screen. And no one who knows me would accuse me of perfectionism of any sort.
But these folks are wise. So I listen some more.
And conclude that resistance and perfectionism take clever forms. The enemies of creation aren’t beholden to obvious tactics. They are more than happy to play dirty. They discern my strengths and weaknesses to tailor their attacks. They throw up speed bumps and trip wires optimized to take advantage of my unique weaknesses and idiosyncrasies.
My habitual response is to look for the smart thing to do to solve my problem. I like to think that “smart” is what I do. But my enemy knows that all too well. What I need to do is seek out the simplest possible things that might work. I was thinking that rhythm and cadence were the things to look at. Now, I wonder whether that’s the “smart” talking.
Now, we look for simple.